Hey Hey.

This thursday. Class dinner. Sizzler. Suntec. 20 bucks.


ALL ARE INVITED!

PLEASE COME.
I BEG YOU!

Raymond shared @ 10:25 PM

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Cardiff, Wales. Around 20 minutes ago. FA CUP FINAL.

Martin Tyler: And now Vieira steps up. Arsenal win if he scores
Andy Gray: Yep. After all thats been said and done. They've weathered the storm them arsenal. united have been poor in front of goal
Martin: Its Vieira.. and VIEIRA TAKES THE CUP BACK TO HIGHBURY! Its Awayyyy from old trafford. And arsenal have done it.
Andy: Well well well. I must say it didnt look like this for 90mins. Certainly not for a hunderd twenty. But arsenal have won the fa cup. Against the odds. My my my

ARGH. Sian diao man... Ok actually wanted to say this. For those who didnt do so well for this years exams. mid yrs. common tests. Peple like me la basically. haha. This is only ur 90 mins, or 120. Let this be an example. Find the net in the shootout. The A levels. United/arsenal played penalty poker. We too. Only difference is that we have the trump card. the ace in the pack. That card is destiny, in our own hands. So please dont throw it all away. work hard. CMON LADS!

Raymond shared @ 1:25 AM

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From a blog I read. Enjoy


"Does This Bus Stop at 82nd Street?" by Bruce Springsteen
No it doesn’t. The bus will go round Yishun new town before ending at Woodlands bus interchange. And Bruce, we don’t named our streets after numbers. We have more imagination than that. We named them after dead people.

"Do You Sleep?" by Lisa Loeb
Yes I do. I also eat and shit.

"Does Your Chewing-Gum Lose Its Flavor on the Bedpost Overnight?" by Lonnie Donegan
You’ll have to ask our Minister Mentor.

"How Deep Is Your Love?" by The Bee Gees
I’m not trying to sound boastful here, but my love can go pretty deep. At least deeper than the three of you combined.

"How Do I Live" by Trisha Yearwood
Try inhaling and exhaling.

"Where Have All The Flowers Gone?" by Pete Seeger
Wilted. Dead. What do you expect with a weather like ours? Goodness.

"Who Let the Dogs Out?" by the Baha Men
Must be those families from Everitt Road at Joo Chiat. Their animosities are running so deep, they are unleashing their hounds on each other. We are living in a sick world I tell ya.

"What Does The Pussy Cat Mean When She Says 'Meow'?" by Margaret Young
You have to be specific. Is it a 'high' meow or a 'low' meow. If it is a 'high' meow, the cat is most likely in heat and getting ready for some action. If it is a 'low' meow, it just mean the cat is hungry and need to be fed. If the meow is somewhere between 'high' and 'low', this imply the cat want to mate and be fed at the same time. When this happen, put on the sharpest heels you can find and give the stupid cat a mean kick up its puny ass. No one, not even cats, deserve the best of both worlds.

"Who Killed Bambi?" by The Sex Pistols
It’s Gopal from Mutu’s Curry. He told me their restaurant ran out of meat. Yeah right. Don’t worry, I have already informed the SPCA. They will deal with those scums.

"Will You Be There" by Michael Jackson
I doubt so. As much as I admire your slick dance moves, I really can’t find the time to fly half way round the globe to attend your trial. It’s too much of a hassle. And try not to put too much make up, you’ll just gross out the jury.

"Are You Lonesome Tonight?" by Elvis Presley
Not really. I’m pretty occupied most nights. When I reach home every eveing, I will tuck into my dinner, have a quick shower and proceed to check my email and read some blogs. After that, I will play Winning Eleven for a few hours and if time permit, catch a few reruns of “Days of our Lives” on TV. As you can see, I’m a pretty happening chap.

"What Are You Doing Sunday?" by Tony Orlando
Chiong Geylang. No lah just kidding. Probably stay home all day reading a book.

“How is Julie?” by The Lettermen
Not bad. She started a business a few year ago mass producing biscuits. Earning buckets no less.

"Daddy, Where Did I Come From?" by The Nice
I’m not your Daddy, but I’m gonna to answer your question. You were originally part of a glob of mess left behind unintentionally by your Daddy inside your Mommy’s body after one unspectacular and unsatisfying night. In her body, you out swam your peers and managed to snuggle into an enclave called an egg where you resided for the next nine months. During this span of time, you slowly mutated into a higly sophiscated living species (this is highly subjective of course) and proceeded to wriggle your way out of Mummy’s tummy when the right time arised, together with lots of blood and disgusting unnameable fluid substances in the ensuing process. Now do you know where you came from? . . . No? Ok, you were actually born out of a rock.

"Where Did It All Go Wrong?" by Oasis
Right after you cancelled your gig in Singapore because you were so freak out by the terrorist attacks in Bali. That’s when we knew you were just some balless wimps and not some hard talking rebels you guys projected youselves as.

"What's Up?" by 4 Non Blondes
Nothing. I was happily minding my own business before you came.

“Why Didn’t Rosemary?” by Deep Purple
Why didn’t she what? What sort of a question is that?

“Have I Told You Lately That I Love You?" by Rod Stewart
Don’t bother. I’m not interested.

"Can I Touch You There?" by Michael Bolton
Hell no. I said it once, I’ll said it again. Every part of me are meant for chio bu to touch and not by some old balding freak like you.

"Do You Wanna Touch Me" by Gary Glitter
No, I’m not going to touch you either, you fucking freak.

"Do You Love Me?" by Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds
Nabeh.

"Can You Feel the Love Tonight?" by Elton John
. . . . .

"Do You Wanna Make Love" by Peter McCann
That does it. I’m getting my crowbar.

Raymond shared @ 4:31 AM

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Something that I got on a forum


It has been a few months since the Singapore Idol finale. Taufik Batisah and Sylvester Sim had captured the imagination of Singaporean of all races and religions with their earnest performances on stage. Today, our showbiz reporter Kate reunite the 2 idols again and attempts to ask some thought provoking questions with regards to their new found fame, albums and their future plans.

Kate: Welcome guys. First and foremost, thanks for coming despite your very hectic schedule.
Taufik: Glad you know I have a hectic schedule. Lets get on with the questioning and not waste anymore of my precious time.
Sylvester: Wah, Taufik so busy hor. Where you going later? Suria AGAIN hah?Sly chuckles
Taufik: Are you implying you have a tighter schedule than me?
Sly: No lah, only channel 8 and channel U loh, maybe also a few mandarin radio stations later in the afternoon loh. Not very busy lah.
Taufik: For your info, I’m not going Suria. I have a few photo shoots and recording later.
Sly: Whatever loh.
Kate: Guys guys, lets not squabble over petty issue. I’m sure both of you are equally busy. Ok Taufik, since you are the Singapore Idol, I’m going to start with you.
Taufik: Shoot away.
Kate: Your first album has shifted more than 5000 copies in Singapore. A rare feat for a local artiste
Sly: My one shifted 6000 already.
Taufik: Hey, what’s your problem cock face?
Sly: Nothing cunt face.
Kate: Please guys, remember your image as idols.
Taufik: He started it.
Sly: Did not.
Taufik: Did too.
Sly: Did not.
Taufik: Did too.
Kate: Guys, stop it. Turn and look at me.

Both turn and look at Kate.

Sly: wah chio bu.
Kate: Eh… thanks. Can we just carry on with no further interruptions? Thanks. Now Taufik, back to the earlier question. How does it feel to see your album doing so well, outselling even Dick Lee’s.
Taufik: Kate, please for the love of god, DO NOT, I say again, DO NOT compare Taufik Batisah with that dick. We cater to 2 different markets. His targeted demographic groups are gays and old follies. Mine is the cool, hip and sophisticated group. Obviously I’m delighted that the album did so well, but that is to be expected from any talented singer.
Sly: Oh please.
Taufik: In fact, to demonstrate my singing prowess, I’m going to do a rendition of one of my fav songs, “I Fly” right here, right now.
Sly: Fly already don’t come back hor.
Taufik: (agitated and irritated) Just what the fuck do you want? You want a piece of me, come and get it, you fucking chao Ah Beng.
Sly: Oh spoiling for a fight is it? Bring it on asshole.

Sly and Taufik try to fight it out but they are quickly restrain by their respective minders. Both sides take a few minutes to settle down.

Kate: Now lets ask Sylvester a few questions for a change. There was a bit of hoo-hah over your little marriage act with Maia. Was it a publicity stunt? Care to fill us in on this incident?
Sly: My star is shining damn bloody bright. I don’t need to pull any stunts to gain publicity.
Taufik: No. But you need to pull something else.
Sly: What!?
Taufik: A hood to cover your fugly face.
Sly: Nabeh cheebye.

Sly get up and attempts a cheap shot at Taufik but is stop again by his minder.

Kate: Whoa whoa cool it guys. Both of you are stars in your own making. Lets kiss and make up shall we.
Taufik: No thanks. His gargantuan lips scare me
Sly: Enough hor cheebye. A person has a limit to his patience one hor.
Taufik: I know, but a monkey don’t have mah.

Sly gets up again and throws a few punches at Taufik. Both entangle, fall and roll on the floor. Minders quickly separate the two idols.

Sly: (puffing and trying to reassure his minder he's fine) I’m cool . . . I’m cool.Sly sprung up from his seat to attack Taufik again. It takes another couple of minutes before the minders get both idols in their seats again.

Kate: Ok Sylvester, care to elaborate on the Maia issue.
Sly: It was a spur of the moment decision. Both of us thought over it later and realized it was a stupid mistake. A hasty mistake. I like to take this chance to apologize to all my fans who idolize me. Your prince charming will never do anything like that again.

Both Taufik and his minder fake a puke.

Kate: Now Taufik, coming back to your album. Some critics have labeled your album as infantile. What is your view?
Taufik: Who the fuck said that?
Kate: Eh . . . not sure. Some ang moh I think.
Taufik: Well let me tell that ang moh something. I put in an awful lot of sweat and efforts in this album and I’m damn proud of every song in it. If you want to listen to something mature, go ask your mom to nag at you.
Sly: You know, I listen to some of the songs in your album. They are indeed really childish.
Taufik: Is not.
Sly: Is too.
Taufik: IS NOT.
Sly: IS TOO.

Taufik poke his fingers into Sly’s eyes.

Sly: Arggggghhh. Cheebye! My eyes! My eyes!

Sly feels around and manage to locate Taufik. He grabs his balls and gives it a few good squeezes.

Taufik: Wooooooooooooo

More interception by the minders before both idols slump into their seats.

Kate: Taufik, you ok?
Taufik: I’m fine
Kate: My next question concern a rumour. I don’t know where this rumour arises from, but I hope you can clarify it. There seems to be reports saying that Olinda Cho, your fellow Singapore Idol finalist has the hots for you.
Taufik: Hello Kate, I just have my breakfast leh.

Minder whispers something to him.

Taufik: Sorry. What I mean is me and Olinda are very good friends. But there’s no way it will go beyond friendship. She knows it and I know it. And it has nothing to do with her physique. Absolutely nothing to do with it.
Sly: (sarcastically) Like real.
Kate: Back to you Sly. You model your image as a rocker. Do you think there’s any possibility that there’s any chance you will go into other genres as far as music is concerned?
Sly: Never. You can take away my jacket, my sunglasses and even my underwear which I bought from the market, but you can never take away the “rock” in me.
Taufik: Didn’t know you kena gallstones.

Sly stare at Taufik who stare right back.

Kate: One last question for both of you before we wrap up this interview. Do you fear your popularity will fade once the next idol comes along?

Both laugh loudly to emphasis the ludicrous nature of the question.

Sly: Of course not. You want to know why? Because Sylvester Sim is going regional baby. Taiwan, Malaysia, Indonesia, all I hoot ka liao. Heheheh.
Taufik: I’m not too fazed by it. I’m confident my fans will stay with me for the long haul regardless of how many idols they put out there, because there is, I repeat, there is, only one Taufik Batisah.
Kate: Thanks once again gentlemen for your precious time.

Raymond shared @ 4:20 AM

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1ST Plebeian : 'Twere best he speak joy for us!

2ND Plebeian : That's certain, we are here to experience the joy!

2ND Plebeian : Peace,ho! Let us hear him.

King : You gentle people -

King : Friends, mates, countrymen, lend me your ears;
I come today to spread joy to you
I know it's been a tough week for you guys to prepare for the exams.
Therefore, to recognise your hard work, i hereby announce that after the paper tomorrow,
we will be having a party.
My knights and I have made provident planning for this party, to ensure that everyone will be able to party tomorrow.
So, if you are interested, do bring fresh clothes and money for the celebration. =)

Plebeian three: Methinks there is much reason in his sayings. If thou consider rightly of this matter, i will definitely go!

Plebeian one : There's not a nobler man than him!

Raymond shared @ 4:35 PM

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we went to london for a during the weekends...
Cool ar?

Raymond shared @ 8:45 AM

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Eh eh happy labour day boys & girls! Just heard a nice story thought u all might be interested in

"2 mice fell into a cup of milk. One quicky gave up and drowned. The other one struggled so hard, never gave up and eventually turned the milk into butter" - Unknown

Raymond shared @ 1:40 PM

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