From a blog I read. Enjoy


"Does This Bus Stop at 82nd Street?" by Bruce Springsteen
No it doesn’t. The bus will go round Yishun new town before ending at Woodlands bus interchange. And Bruce, we don’t named our streets after numbers. We have more imagination than that. We named them after dead people.

"Do You Sleep?" by Lisa Loeb
Yes I do. I also eat and shit.

"Does Your Chewing-Gum Lose Its Flavor on the Bedpost Overnight?" by Lonnie Donegan
You’ll have to ask our Minister Mentor.

"How Deep Is Your Love?" by The Bee Gees
I’m not trying to sound boastful here, but my love can go pretty deep. At least deeper than the three of you combined.

"How Do I Live" by Trisha Yearwood
Try inhaling and exhaling.

"Where Have All The Flowers Gone?" by Pete Seeger
Wilted. Dead. What do you expect with a weather like ours? Goodness.

"Who Let the Dogs Out?" by the Baha Men
Must be those families from Everitt Road at Joo Chiat. Their animosities are running so deep, they are unleashing their hounds on each other. We are living in a sick world I tell ya.

"What Does The Pussy Cat Mean When She Says 'Meow'?" by Margaret Young
You have to be specific. Is it a 'high' meow or a 'low' meow. If it is a 'high' meow, the cat is most likely in heat and getting ready for some action. If it is a 'low' meow, it just mean the cat is hungry and need to be fed. If the meow is somewhere between 'high' and 'low', this imply the cat want to mate and be fed at the same time. When this happen, put on the sharpest heels you can find and give the stupid cat a mean kick up its puny ass. No one, not even cats, deserve the best of both worlds.

"Who Killed Bambi?" by The Sex Pistols
It’s Gopal from Mutu’s Curry. He told me their restaurant ran out of meat. Yeah right. Don’t worry, I have already informed the SPCA. They will deal with those scums.

"Will You Be There" by Michael Jackson
I doubt so. As much as I admire your slick dance moves, I really can’t find the time to fly half way round the globe to attend your trial. It’s too much of a hassle. And try not to put too much make up, you’ll just gross out the jury.

"Are You Lonesome Tonight?" by Elvis Presley
Not really. I’m pretty occupied most nights. When I reach home every eveing, I will tuck into my dinner, have a quick shower and proceed to check my email and read some blogs. After that, I will play Winning Eleven for a few hours and if time permit, catch a few reruns of “Days of our Lives” on TV. As you can see, I’m a pretty happening chap.

"What Are You Doing Sunday?" by Tony Orlando
Chiong Geylang. No lah just kidding. Probably stay home all day reading a book.

“How is Julie?” by The Lettermen
Not bad. She started a business a few year ago mass producing biscuits. Earning buckets no less.

"Daddy, Where Did I Come From?" by The Nice
I’m not your Daddy, but I’m gonna to answer your question. You were originally part of a glob of mess left behind unintentionally by your Daddy inside your Mommy’s body after one unspectacular and unsatisfying night. In her body, you out swam your peers and managed to snuggle into an enclave called an egg where you resided for the next nine months. During this span of time, you slowly mutated into a higly sophiscated living species (this is highly subjective of course) and proceeded to wriggle your way out of Mummy’s tummy when the right time arised, together with lots of blood and disgusting unnameable fluid substances in the ensuing process. Now do you know where you came from? . . . No? Ok, you were actually born out of a rock.

"Where Did It All Go Wrong?" by Oasis
Right after you cancelled your gig in Singapore because you were so freak out by the terrorist attacks in Bali. That’s when we knew you were just some balless wimps and not some hard talking rebels you guys projected youselves as.

"What's Up?" by 4 Non Blondes
Nothing. I was happily minding my own business before you came.

“Why Didn’t Rosemary?” by Deep Purple
Why didn’t she what? What sort of a question is that?

“Have I Told You Lately That I Love You?" by Rod Stewart
Don’t bother. I’m not interested.

"Can I Touch You There?" by Michael Bolton
Hell no. I said it once, I’ll said it again. Every part of me are meant for chio bu to touch and not by some old balding freak like you.

"Do You Wanna Touch Me" by Gary Glitter
No, I’m not going to touch you either, you fucking freak.

"Do You Love Me?" by Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds
Nabeh.

"Can You Feel the Love Tonight?" by Elton John
. . . . .

"Do You Wanna Make Love" by Peter McCann
That does it. I’m getting my crowbar.

Raymond shared @ 4:31 AM

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